ResidentInsomniac
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Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1941
Karma: +119
Location: Oshawa, ON, Canada
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 Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:43 am Post subject: It's Gotta Be Me |
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Well, let's see if I can write this without having to get up and run to bathroom. Stress definitely is not good for my bowels or anything else for that fact.
Let's go back to the June 7th in the wee hours of the morning. I receive a telephone call Lisa telling me that she is on her way to the hospital. I told her that I would not be far behind her.
When I arrive at the hospital, I met Jake for the first time. Call it women's intuition, mother's instinct, whatever - I did not like him or his grandmother. There was just something about them that I did not trust. I set my feelings aside because this was Lisa's big day. I gave Jake a warm hug and shook Jake's grandmother's hand.
Within a half an hour of being at the Hospital, Jake was already acting up. He was complaining about being at the Hospital. He didn't like hospitals. Jake's grandmother continuously complained that it was a shame that Lisa's baby was not born on June 3 because that was the birthday of her husband who had just recently passed away.
The nurse suggested that Lisa start walking up and down the hallway to help the contractions along. We walked down to the waiting room and Jake decided that he didn't want to walk anymore. Jake's grandmother followed them down and I tagged along. Jake then sat down and continued on with his complaints about hospitals and how he does not like them. His grandmother wasn't much help either because all she kept talking about was death of this relative and that relative and again how she had wished that Lisa had had her baby on June 3.
Finally, I couldn't stand Jake's whining any longer and suggested that maybe if he went for a walk around the block, he would feel better. Lisa agreed that maybe that would be best for him. Personally, I know that she was sick of his crap as well.
Time marches on...... Lisa is moved to the Birthing Suite. Grandma left and came back. Jake still had not returned. He was gone for over four hours. Lisa called home, he wasn't there and then she called home again, he was sleeping. When he got back, he claimed that when he got out side, he had diarrhea and had to go home and change and shower. He then said that he went to his family doctor and that the doctor said that he had the flu.
Naturally, Lisa was not impressed with what Jake had to say - especially when he is saying this as she is going through contractions every seven minutes and she did not have the epidermal in yet. Grandma continues on with the death talk and how Jake doesn't like hospitals. By this point, the Nurses were getting fed up with it as well. Come on, this was suppose to be a happy time - not a time of arguing, insults and discussions about death. I asked if we could please change the topic to help Lisa focus on what she going through.
Jake blew up and said that he didn't need to take this "shit." I turned to his grandmother and asked if she could please talk to her grandson to calm him down and to be there for Lisa. She just looked at me and didn't budge an inch. I looked at Lisa and there was a tear in her eye. I quietly turned to Lisa and told her that I would be back in a couple of minutes.
Now, let me say this, I was denied the right/privilege of even being at the hospital when my granddaughter, Tatiana was born. I will not be at the hospital when my next granddaughter will be born, so, I was treasuring every second of being there with Lisa as we were experiencing this miracle of life. I was not going to do or allow anything to tarnish this day - or so I had thought.
I left the Birthing Suite and went after Jake. I met up with him at the elevator. Words were exchanged. They weren't the most pleasant of words and trust me, if my Son had ever spoken to me like Jake did my Son's mouth would have been washed out with Lifebouy soap irregardless of his age. By the way, did I mention that Jake is 27 and Lisa just turned 19 on April 10?
I got into the elevator with Jake and tried asking him to come back upstairs so that he could support Lisa and help her with the birth of his child. We made it to the main floor of the Hospital and he was walking ahead of me. He yelled over his shoulder to me that he didn't even know if the baby was his! One thing that I know about Lisa is that she has never messed around on anybody in her life. She just doesn't believe in that sort of thing.
Well, here I am with my walker upstairs. I don't know where the energy came from, but, I sure as heck caught up with him. At that point, when he said what he did, I just lost all self control that I had. I think that I called him every name under the sun without actually cussing.
We get outside of the hospital after I had blocked in the revolving door and he was calling through the one inch crack that I left for him for Security. He looked like a blooming idiot. Everyone in the lobby was starring at him and shaking their heads because they all heard deny his child while Lisa was upstairs trying to give birth. I asked Jake where he got the idiotic idea that the baby was not his. He then informed me that Lisa had messed around on him - (not true) and that his ex-girlfriend Crystal told him so.
Now I don't know about anyone else, but, what in the world is he talking to ex-girlfriend about his relationship with Lisa? He then went on to say that Lisa was a bitch. His words, not mine. There was no sense whatsoever talking to him.
I managed to get him to sit down with me for a second or two. My legs and back were just killing me by that point. He looked at me and told me that I was going to split him and Lisa up. He also told me that when I went upstairs, I was going to tell Lisa what he had said to me about him denying his baby. At that point, I just looked at Jake as if he was the biggest idiot in the world. I told him that I was not going to split him and Lisa up - that hopefully, she will wake up and smell the coffee and as for what he had said to me, I was not going to repeat it to her, that day or any day. I told him that I was not that heartless to go upstairs and tell her that sort of thing while she is there trying to give birth to her baby.
Jake left and I went upstairs. He did not return until about one hour before the baby was born. When he came back, he brought about four friends with him. They were so loud and boisterous that the Nurse had to tell them to leave the room and go to the waiting room. Then, during the last half hour of the delivery, the Nurse asked me to go out and ask them to get out of the hallway outside of her room and go to the waiting room again and that I would come and get them once the baby was born.
Even the grandmother had disappeared for a while and then returned to the waiting room. I didn't leave Lisa except to go after Jake and to use the Potty. I assisted the Doctor and the Nurse in the delivery of Denise. I cut the umbilical cord and was even opening up packages and passing instruments to the Nurse and Doctor. I was coaching Lisa, wiping her face with a cool cloth, giving her sips of water, holding her up and making her laugh whenever she became frightened.
As soon as Lisa was cleaned up and ready to receive visitors, I went to the waiting room and congratulated the new Daddy and grandmother.
The room was becoming busy and I was rather tired, so I gave Lisa a hug and said that I was going home to rest.
Nobody thanked me for being there and I had to ask Jake to take a picture of me with my camera, holding Denise. Other cameras were going off and not one pix was taken of me - even though I made sure that I had pix of everyone involved.
The next day, I called Lisa at the hospital to see how her and the baby were. The response was a bit chilly. I thought to myself, okay, maybe Lisa was just tired. I then called Jake at home to let him know that something that I had tried to get for them from FreeCycle would be delivered to them within a couple of days. The grandmother answered the phone and began to ream me out telling me that I had acted inappropriately at the hospital with Lisa and Jake. She told me that Jake didn't like blood and didn't like hospitals. I told her that he had better start getting use to blood if he is going to have a child around him. She then went on about my stories and jokes that I was telling Lisa were inappropriate. Having a baby is not the time to be telling jokes. Excuse me? If joking around is going to make the mom laugh and take her mind off of her fears and depression because her parents are dead and she truly had wanted them there with her, well, so be it.
The grandmother then went on to tell me that I can try all I want, but, I am not going to split Jake and Lisa up. Gee, did Jake go crying to grandma? I told her that was not my intention, but Jake had better stop his trash talk about Lisa.
I let everything be until Wednesday after I got home from the hospital. I called to speak to Lisa. Instead, grandma answered the telephone and then Jake picked up. Grandma stayed on the phone the entire time. I had called to tell them that I came across two baby tapes to help the baby sleep. Jake started right in on me. He told me hold on to the tapes and then hung the telephone up on me.
That evening, Lisa came to the Site and removed her pictures and entries in her journal. She then sent me a rather nasty email. I sent one back to her telling her that Michael and I still love her, but, we are not going to be treated with disrespect and lied to. You see, Lisa knows all about the stress and heartache that we have gone through with our Son and his family. She had promised that she would not do that to us and that she had finally grown up.
Now, here is our take on all of this. I think that Jake and his grandmother are afraid that I will tell Lisa what he had said to me about Denise not being his child. You see, Jake and his grandmother live in one of worst parts of Oshawa. They are in Housing and live on Disability. Lisa, on her 19th birthday was given part of her inheritance from her Mother's Estate. Being on Disability, she had to spend the entire amount which was around five thousand dollars; otherwise, the money would have been deducted from Jake's Disability Allowance. She went out bought everything new for the Baby. She also bought a new computer and other things that she needed. Here's the clincher, when Lisa turns 25, she receives the remainder of her Mother's Estate - somewhere around 3/4 million dollars. We hate to say this, but, it appears that Jake and his grandmother are looking at more than just a new girlfriend and baby.
So, that is just about everything in a nut shell. We wish Lisa and Denise all of God's blessings. We pray that they will be happy in life. What we will not do is take any abuse from Lisa or anyone else. Life is too short to allow petty crap to stress us out.
I feel completely blessed that I was able to be a part of bringing a child into the world. Nothing or nobody can ever take that away from me. That afternoon will remain a cherished memory in my heart and mind for life.
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char59
Global Moderator
Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 875
Karma: +55
Location: Iowa
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:09 am Post subject: |
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Oh Lynne--- I feel so sorry for you. You did not need that crap from any of them. It sounds to me that you were in the right the whole time. You love Lisa, that is apparent. If she treats you this way, then I wouldn't spend a lot of time on her. Be there if she needs you but don't beg her to come to you. She will be sorry later.
Yes, It sounds like Jake and his grandmother are after only one thing, and its not Lisa or the baby. They have fed her a bunch of lies. If the money was not coming, then Jake would be long gone.
Please remember, I have really big shoulders, if you need to talk, I am here. My prayers go out to you. I will also pray for Lisa and the baby. Jake just needs to grow up. He isn't worth the breath to say his name.
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I know you were so excited about being there for Lisa......even tho you haven't felt well for a long time.....
