Friends 'R' Family

Shirley · Graphics Manager

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FAMILY
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-
year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other
sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts
up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful,
knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I
see who's at the door."
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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March
day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."
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LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she
walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She
walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she
said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
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OLD FRIENDS:
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they
had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had
been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were
playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me
.. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your
name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what
your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and
glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see
over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.
The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the
passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we
just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another
intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was
really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next
intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she
turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

Judy · Moderator